I recently contributed an article for “Changing Tomorrow”, a fortnightly newspaper being published from Jaipur. Find them on Facebook.
In my post, I talk about what is like being an Army Wife.
How our friends, relatives and even strangers feel we have it easy.
Trust me, a life linked to the Army is never easy.
A lot of sacrifice, dedication and resilience is needed but somehow we Army Wives do find it too.
“I am a proud army wife but then aren’t we all? She is viewed as a lady who is living a life of privilege, comfort, respect, & honour.
Do people actually see the hard work, anxiety and sacrifice that is also a big part of being an army wife?
She is making the country a better place by her contributions to the upkeep and betterment of women, children and various issues plaguing the society.
Army & army wives, they say sets an example for our society to emulate.
Yes, the army wife is the epitome of what a lady should be like but is she all this and more?
Is it all it is cracked up to be?
Are we army wives really different?
“There is strong. There is Army Strong. And then there is Army Wife Strong.”―Aditi Mathur Kumar, Soldier and Spice – An Army Wife’s Life.
Quotes like these and many more praise & admire the virtues of these ladies but do we see the truth behind these thoughts?
- She is extra strong: She has to be as she has to virtually live on her own in many godforsaken places with no access to anything, yes in this day and age too!
- She is multi-talented: Yes, she needs to be, how else is she going to get her kid the theme birthday cake and party decorations in a place called Binagudi or Karoo?
- She makes the best teacher: Needs to be a teacher as there are always schools no matter how obscure the place might be. Plus you get to keep an eye on your kid’s education.
- She stands out in a crowd: Of course, she will, especially if the crowd is of locals from the nearby mountain village!
- She values life: Duh! She is married to an army officer; she has seen death at close quarters & knows that any goodbye could be the last they share.
- She is so independent: Does she have a choice? When the hubby is away on exercise for 3 months eventually she will have to move out and get things done- on her own. This includes fixing the car & the AC if needed.
- She is never lonely: Because after a few years, you get used to it – the separations become routine; almost.
Missing someone gets easier every day because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are one day closer to the next time you will. –Author Unknown.
- She celebrates all festivals regardless of her religion: Your own festival is really dull if your spouse is away for a 100 days so you celebrate whatever comes your way with cheer & joy.
- She loves shopping & shops in the markets of the globe: Yes, she does. Got to pass the time somehow? How many parties can you do in a week?
- She loves her parties & get-togethers: It’s a way of keeping busy; you throw one party and are invited to 4 in return. Everyone is busy. How else would you pass the time in a place with no markets & malls?
- She handles her child’s education & grooming so well: She is almost a single parent, so she has to improvise and be both a father & mother.
- She moves cities like a pro: She stops herself from buying designer decorations because she knows they will not keep well in her no AC drawing room or manage the shift from one end of the country to another. Lekhapani to Ferozpur, yes west to east; go on and check the map!
- CSD or the canteen is a shopper’s paradise: Seriously! How much grocery and soap can you buy? Namkeen & Naphthalene Balls are your favorite??
- She lives a life of luxury: It can be quite hectic with the active social life, wellbeing initiatives & official commitments. Any help she can get is a blessing. Imagine coming to back-to-back events for three days. She also faces the ‘maid issues’ good help is hard to find no matter which part of the country we live in.
- We love Pay Commissions; So much pride in being an army wife but where is the money? Ever gone clubbing with an army guy? Discount is the first thing on his mind!
“An Army wife is probably the only woman in the world who knows and readily accepts that she is the mistress, because, let’s face it, the Army is the wife and the wife gets all the damn attention!”―Aditi Mathur Kumar, Soldier and Spice – An Army Wife’s Life
Last but not the least, it is true, that she is the second fiddle to the unit her husband belongs to. Imagine telling your five-year-old that, Daddy has another big family of 800 men, which is the unit and they need him too. So the needs of 800 come before the two of us. That’s how you justify the gruelling working hours, long absences & being the second best always.
Being an army brat long before I became an army wife sure helped my cause. It is a difficult life but then all good things in life involve a lot of hard work. Plus, I won’t have it any other way!
Do tell me in the comments if you too, have faced or thought or heard similar views about what they say and what we see.
~~Post updated for language, spelling, clarity and images on 31-07-2024~~
This newspaper, Changing Tomorrow has been conceived and conceptualized specifically for today’s Youth and Women. And I hope to be contributing to it often.
Feel free to join me as you send your posts to [email protected]
*Update: This post has been shared online on the website of Changing Tomorrow *
This article first appeared in Changing Tomorrow, Vol.-1, Jaipur, Friday, May 15, 2015. It also appeared on the Women's Web on Feb 03, 2016.